Whose orders do we have to follow in a child custody case?

I served my ex with custody papers. They were stamped by the court and a mediation date was made for September 26th. On the papers it states that the order will be in effect until court. However, in his response he requests that our son visit him on the 16th which is a week and a half before mediation. During this time we are not to communicate due to his inability to refrain from lashing out at me. Is my order the one I should follow or do I have to comply with his? I filed first and his is conflicting with mine. I don't know what to do. I am currently living in California.
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